Who gives a f* anyway?

We spend our lives caring so much about what other people think - but do they really care? Tim doesn't, look at Tim.

I am QUEEN of asking myself, what did they think of my presentation? Do I look fat in these pants? Do people think I look sick without make-up? Will people judge me if I take another piece of cake? ... Sound familiar?

But actually, if you think about it, do you really think that Fred gives a f* if you take the extra piece of cake? Unless he wanted it too then that's another story and I would be pissed too. Do you think that Janet will spend more than 5 SECONDS TOTAL of her life thinking that you look fat in those pants? What we forget to realize is that we humans in the core are egocentric and self-involved and, when we're not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, spend about 95% of our time thinking about ourselves and not others.

I am not saying this in a negative way, it is only human! Just ask yourself this: when is the last time you thought for more than 1 minute about the embarrassing presentation someone had? Or that spot on someone's shirt? No offense, but people have better things to think about. They are more involved in thinking about their own spot on their shirt then thinking about yours.. take this metaphorically or not.

That being said, I also like to think that people are not evil. If your colleague just screwed up her big presentation or you see someone get rejected after asking someone out, do you really think they are laughing at you on the inside? Thinking "oh that guy is so lame" or "omgggg so embarrassing she's so stupid"... no! Everyone has been through shit and that's just life. If anything, they feel sorry for you, or wish they also had the balls to ask that hot barista from Starbucks out.

For arguments sake, let's say that 5% of people DO laugh at you or thinking you're lame or stupid or fat or ugly... then I feel sorry for them - and you should too. Whoever thinks like that a) is ugly on the inside and b) definitely has other issues in their life that they should rather focus on than you.

So, the next time you start wondering what other people are thinking, stop and ask yourself: do they really care? Would I care if it was the other way around? How much time would I actually spend thinking about this? Changing your way of thinking in this way will make you more confident, more happy with yourself and also improve your relationships with those around you.